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A group of people touring Yellowstone National Park watched a grizzly bear eating some food that had been set out for him by the attendants. Suddenly a skunk appeared on the scene and boldly began to steal some of the rations.
Since the sightseers had been told that all of the animals in the park were afraid of the huge beast, they asked how this little creature dared to get so close. Their guide replied, "Oh, the bear is disturbed by it, and would like to take out his vengeance on the impudent skunk, but he knows the high cost of getting even!
Funny Stuff
A young man joined the Peace Corps and was sent to help on a farm. He watched the farmer milk one cow and ask the farmer to let him take over milking the other one.
Sometime later the farmer returned to the barn, just in time to see the young man feeding the milk back to the cow.
"What in the world are you doing that for?" asked the farmer.
The young man explained, "Well, the milk looked a little thin, so I thought I'd run it back through again."
The First Dressmakers
. . . and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. Genesis 3:7
Did you ever hear the lady of the house say, "I haven't got a thing to wear, and we are expecting company!"
Eve was the first woman who could literally say that. So she and her husband started the first dressmaking shop. But company was on the way and there was little time, so they just made a couple of "aprons" before the Lord came to visit them.
The word translated apron is chagorah and means "a belt for the waist." Comparable to a loincloth, it was an attempt to hide their shame, but proved wholly inadequate.
Then God, the great dressmaker, came and tailored "coats of skins" (Genesis 3:21).
A pint of good example is worth a gallon of good advice . . . ye fathers . . . bring (your children) up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4).
Would I Be Called A Christian?
If everybody knew
My secret thoughts and feelings.
And everything I do?
Oh, could they see the likeness
Of Christ in me each day?
Oh, could they hear Him speaking
In every word I say?
Would I be called a "Christian"
If anyone could know
That I am found in places
Where Jesus would not go?
Oh, could they hear Him echo
In every song I sang?
To eating, drinking, dressing
Could they see Christ my King?
Would I be called a "Christian"
If judged by what I read.
By all my recreations,
And every thought and deed?
Could I be counted Christ-like
As I now work and pray?
Unselfish, kind, forgiving
To others every day?
"Lord lay come soul upon my heart
And love that soul through me;
That I may humbly do my part,
To win that soul to thee."
A young girl was once asked how many children there were in her family. She answered that there were seven children in her family. The inquirer was taken aback by such a high number of siblings in one family and suggested that seven children must cost a lot of money. The girl answered, "Oh, no, we don't buy them, we just raise them."
A mother knows she's been home too long for the following reasons;
1. She begins to talk to Barney as a great person.
2. She forgets which one is real ~ Mister Rogers or King Friday.
3. She cries for a wedding on Sesame Street.
4. She is one of the congregation that JUST laughed at the first three reasons - because she knew what all three of them was about.
Nobody Is A Whole Chain
Nobody is a whole chain.
Each one is a link. But take away one
link and the chain is broken.
Nobody is a whole team. Each one is a
player. But take away one player and the
game is forfeited.
Nobody is a whole orchestra. Each one
is a musician. But take away one musician
and the symphony is incomplete.
You guessed it. We need each other. You
need someone and someone needs you.
Isolated island we're not.
To make this thing called life work, we
gotta lean and support. And relate and
respond. And give and take. And confess
and forgive. And reach out and embrace.
And release and rely . . .
Since none of us is a whole, independent,
self-sufficient, superb-capable, all-powerful
hotshot, let's quite acting like
we are. Life's lonely enough without our
playing that silly role.
The game's over. Let's link up.
~ Charles Swindoll
1 Corinthians 12:14-21
How do you know when a politician is telling the truth?
When he pulls his ear, he is telling the truth; when he rubs his nose, he is telling the truth; but when he opens his mouth, he is lying.
A man trying to understand the nature of God asked:
"God, how long is a million years to you?"
And God said, "A million years is like a minute."
Then the man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars to you?"
And God said, "A million dollars is like a penny."
The man thought for a moment and asked, "God, will you give me a penny?"
And God said, "In a minute."
"Well," the little old lady finally admitted to the persistent politician, "You're my second choice."
I'm honored, ma'am," he gushed.
"But may I ask – who's your first?'
"Oh," she responded casually, "anybody else who's running."
WMD
A Real Weapon Of MASS Destruction
Said the robin to the sparrow,
"I would surely like to know
Why these anxious human beings
Fret about and worry so!"
Said the sparrow to the robin,
"I imagine it must be
That they have no heavenly Father
Such as cares for you and me!"
John 12:24
Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.
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